Well worth my time: A Zaraki Kenpachi oneshot
by The Godess Freya
Summary: A shinigami that failed the test suddenly finds herself in dire straits. She will have to face the ultimate challenge: Zaraki Kenpachi. A Kenpachi/OC pairing.


Name: Tsuchi

Age: Undetermined

Occupation: Failed shinigami test, but has her own "squad"

Physical attributes: You look and dress as you do in the picture. There is also a scar from the right of your forehead to your ear, but the bangs tend to hide it.

****************

I sat upon the roof of a building, my right leg hanging over the edge and my left leg bent. My left arm was thrown carelessly over my knee and my right hand held my zanpakto and spun it in circles, the tip gouging a small circle into the roof.

"Tsuchi!" my third seat exclaimed. I looked down, bored, to the frantic face of Dosu. "Zaku's been kidnapped! The shinigami took him after he beat that old guy! I rolled my eyes.

"Fucking idiot," I mumbled, then sighed. "I'll go and get him. Can't be helped." I sheathed my sword on my back and stood.

"Now...Tsuchi-taichou..."I turned my gaze on Dosu.

"Spit it out."

"Try to at least bring him back by sunset," Dosu said, grinning. I smirked at him.

"Oh, that's only if I don't meet the eleventh division," I stated, jumping down.

"If we had made it into the academy, you would have gone to that same division, so please....don't kill your would-be squad members."

"Jesus, Dosu. What are you, my mother?"

"No," he drawled. "I'd just rather not have the soul society breathing down our necks. I like my ability to pick up women in public." I rolled my eyes.

"You love women more than you do fighting," I shot at him. We both turned and ran towards the gate to the soul society.

"They're both the same thing."

"What kind of sex are you into?" When he smiled wolfishly, I relented. "Never mind, I don't want to know." Neither of us were worried about Zaku. If he was to be executed, I would have been taken with him. This was different. Something was happening in soul society, but why would they bring Zaku in instead of me?

"What, the big bad captain doesn't want to know about my sex life?"

"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to kiss and tell?" he was silent for a moment and I knew the humorous moment had passed.

"What do you think they want with him?" he asked as we saw the gates of the soul society in the distance.

"Dunno, but my guess is we're going to find out real soon." True enough, the gate keeper stood to the side of the open shinigami stood on the soul society portion of the entrance, waiting for us.

"Do we engage?" Dosu asked. I assessed the situation.

"If they wanted us dead, they would have tried to take us by surprise. Let's see what they want first." We skidded to a halt within talking distance of the twoshinigami.

"Are you Tsuchi, from 67 district?" I looked towards the speaker to see a black man with a hoari. Must be Tousen, leader of squad nine.

"I am." The man beside of him stepped foward.

"No pleasentries?" Dosu asked, being a prick.

"My apologies," Tousen said. "I am Tousen, captain of squad nine. This is Hisagi Shuhei, my lieutinant."

"We have Zaku in custody-"

"No shit," I interrupted dryly, causing Dosu to smirk.

"But we mean him no harm."

"Oh? Then why take him?" I asked pleasently, feeling far from the emotion.

"Because we knew it was the only way you would come to the soul society," Tousen answered. His hand strayed toward his zanpakto and Dosu and I both drew out our own zanpaktos. "There will be no unnecesary violence today. Cry, Suzumashi." With a flick of his thumb, the zanpakto was released, causing a high pitch sound to emit from the blade. Even as I heard the sound, I felt my eyes rolling back into my head and my body falling into the ground. Yet even before I hit the ground, I was unconscious.

****************

I woke to a great mumbling of many voices and I held my head, groaning in protest. As I moved, they quieted somewhat, giving me the chance to move parts of my body. As everything was working normally, I opened my eyes and sat up, taking a look around. Many shinigami were around me, all of them looking at me. Never my best in mornings, I glared and growled back,

"The fuck you lookin' at?" At my voice, all my spectators quieted and I got to my feet. I look around the square the wave of black didn't cover and saw a captain to my left. He sported black spikey hair with bells attached to the end of the strands. He wore his captains haori, but it didn't attract from the fact that this guy was built and huge. Even at my low level, I could tell he had a lot of reiatsu and was even holding it back.

"Ken-chan! She's awake!" I looked at the new extension of his left shoulder, confused. She was a tiny girl with adorable eyes and pink hair, but she wore the uniform ofa shinigami.

"I know, Yachiru."

"Okay Ken-chan. Have fun!" The girl bounded from his shoulder to the edge of the crowd and waved at him. My eyes narrowed. What the hell was going on?

"Where's Zaku?" I asked the captain. "If you hurt him, I will beat the shit out of you." The man smirked, which caused his face to become drastically appealing. "Hey, you're kinda cute when you smirk," I said bluntly. Every shinigami's face became faces of horror and I laughed. In response to my question, the captain pointed to his right and I saw Zaku next to none other than Yamamoto, the captain of first division and leader of the gotei 13. Zaku was bound with a kido spell, but he still managed to yell at me,

"Kick his ass, Tsuchi-chan!"

"That's Tsuchi-taichou to you, you asshole!" I turned back to the captain in front of me. "So, I beat you, I get my lieutinant back, right?" I started to reach for my sword.

"That's about right."

"You better be worth my while, shinigami." I drew my sword and sliced down quickly, causing the wind attack to fly at the captain. The captain drew his own sword and cut through my attack, dissapating it on the spot.

"Don't worry. I'll make the fight last." I jumped at the captain and he blocked my sword, leaving our faces inches apart.

"Good," I stated, kissing his nose in mock insult. He pushed me away from him using his sword and I flipped, skidding on the air. I stopped and looked up, the look in my eyes lusting after a good fight. I jumped at the captain again slicing, keeping him on the defensive. Within moments, he grew tired of that and began to keep me on the defensive. I parried and began to slow my movements, mimicking fatigue. As I had hoped, he lifted his sword for a powerful slice and I took the advantage to cut his chest from shoulder to stomach. I flipped backwards and licked his blood from the blade.

"You can cut me?" he more or less stated.

"Now, now, shinigami. Don't say this fight's over so soon! I've barely had any fun with you."

"Will you stop flirting, Tsuchi-chan?"

"That's Tsuchi-taichou! You want me to save your ass or not?" Zaku, being the insolent child he was, stuck his tongue out at me. "If I wasn't having fun, I'd leave your ass!" I smiled at the captain. "Now, where were we? Ah, yes. You were going to tell me your name."

"Zaraki Kenpachi." I leapt at his lower stomach and he swiped at me. I blocked and spun around to kick him. He caught my foot with his free left hand and held it inches from the side of his head.

"A pleasure," I murmured for his ears only. In reaction to my statement, I felt his thumb stroke the back of my ankle, which made my eyes darken. Instead of using my sword, I used his hold to pull my body up and place a well aimed kick to his ribs. He released my other leg and I landed and thrust at his unprotected side. He deflected my blade and swung at my head. I bent over sideways to block it and used the momentum to swing around to launch another attack at the captain. I jumped away, then back at him again, clashingblades with him. His technique, although brutish, was quite effective in my opinion, but it was time for me to escalate the fight. I jumped away from Kenpachi and held my sword parallel to the ground at chest height.

"Sear the moon and sky, heavenly wind." Now, to the normal human eye, my blade looked no different. But to a shinigami's eye, they could see the reiatsu pulsing across the extent of the blade's surface. "Your turn, Kenpachi."

"I don't have one."

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"I don't know my sword's name."

"Then how the hell are you a captain?"

"I killed the old one." I smiled and licked my lips. This man kept getting more attractive by the minute. This time, he took the initiative and attacked my sword. Instead of metal clashing, he hit the pulsatiing wind and I threw him back. I jumped at him and he blocked me as planned. Instead of jumping away, I licked the blood running down his chest, then calmly attacked.

(A/N: This attack's from Inuyasha. It's the same attack, just with one furrow.)

"Wind Scar." Instead of the captain's blade cutting it, the attack just bent past his blade and embedded itself into his chest. Kenpachi was thrown back, but he caught himself in time and landed perfectly. I watched him as his hand went to his eyepatch.

"Finally...someone I can use this against!"

"Enough!" I turned angrily to Yamamoto, pissed that he would interupt me while I was having fun. "She has proven herself." Behind the captain were three captains that I recognized. One was Kuchiki Byakuga, captain of the sixth division. Second was Soi Fon, captain of second division. The third was none other than Hitsugaya, captain of tenth division. "Agreed?" All three captains nodded.

"I've proven myself for what, ojii-san?" Even though the name was respectful, my tone wasn't, but I wasn't in the mood to be accomodating.

"We have heard of your work in the Ragonkai and decided to test your squad."

"For what?" I ground out.

"To become shinigami." That got my attention, but I didn't let it show.

"And I take it you have my squad?"

"They are currently testing as well." Sure enough, small flares of reiatsu flickered around me. "As for you, I have decided to place you in the eleventh division."

"Whatever, Ojii-san." I slung my sword over my right shoulder."Just lead me to my captain."

"You fought him." I snuck a glance at Kenpachi and smirked for a whole different reason.

"Fine. I'll be a shinigami. Can you let go of my lieutinant now?" Zaku dropped to the ground, then began to rub his shoulders. In a surprise move, I flash stepped behind Zaku and kicked him in the middle of his back, sending him flying. As he landed I held up my fist. "And that's Tsuchi-taichou to you!"

"Violent bitch," Zaku muttered.

"Don't give me that," I said, straightening and sheathing my sword. "I came to save your pathetic hide, didn't I?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Zaku!" Everyone turned to look at Yamamoto. "You will also be placed in eleventh division." Zaku nodded once. "Everyone else is dismissed." With that, he left, probably to go judge the other fights. On the funnier side, not a single male tried to approach me, even though I was scantily dressed. Zaku noticed as well and began laughing as we walked towards one another. As I reached his side, he threw his arm over my shoulder.

"Some things never change," he said.

"I'm telling you, I'm just not showing enough. That's why they don't like me." I looked around me, but many of the braver shinigami couldn't even meet my gaze.

"No, It's because you're incredibly fight happy and would castrate a man, given the chance." I looked sideways at my lieutinant.

"You still miffed about that?"

"That was an incredibly horrible threat!" he said, recoiling. "It gave me nightmares for weeks." We both made our way over to our new captain and waited in front of him. I gave him a slow wink, but he ignored me and stared at Zaku.

"Ken-chan!" The pink girl said as she latched herself onto his shoulder.

"Who are you?" Kenpachi asked Zaku, ignoring Yachiru and me. I immediately felt miffed and was about to retort when Zaku squezed my shoulder.

"Zaku, Tsuchi's lieutinant." I looked from male to male, not understanding the sudden tension.

"Oi! Captain!" I turned to see a bald man walking over to us. I sent him a female "look", which he returned with a smirk. "And who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Tsuchi."

"You? Seriously?"

"Yes I am. And who are you? You're pretty cute yourself." Looking taken aback, the man answered,

"Madarame Ikkaku."

"Play nice, Tsuchi," Zaku said. I was going to reply when I felt a flare dissapear. I felt, and figured out it was Dosu who just finished his fight. Zaku sensed him as well. "One round of strip poker says he goes into eleventh squad."

"Oh, I'll take that bet. He's going into sixth. He's got great kido." We awkwardly shook hands then turned back to our captain.

"Your orders, sir?" I asked, the 'sir' highly sarcastic.

"Your clothes. You will accompany me to our division. Ikkaku, take Zaku to the training yard." Ikkaku smirked widely at Zaku, already anticipating the fight. "Yachiru, go with them."

"All righty, Ken-chan!" She leapt off of the captain and landed on Ikkaku. Without telling me, Kenpachi leapt away from everyone. I followed him dutifully, looking forward to my shinigami robes. He led me over a few divisions until he landed in training yard. Every male stopped fighting and looked at me. I waved cheekily at everyone before following Kenpachi inside. I followed his reiatsu down a few halls, then stopped as I felt him inside the room to my left. I stepped through the open door only to be thrown up against the wall. I turned to see Kenpachi, his hands on my shoulder and his face inches from me.

"What, no foreplay?" I taunted. In response, he kissed me thoroughly, his mouth bruising. Yet I didn't mind. It only made me kiss him back. I grabbed the front of his haori and brought his body closer against mine. He stepped forward but pulled his head back slightly. He brought his hand to my chest and grabbed the bandages. He then proceeded to literally rip them from my body, leaving me bared. He growled, then slammed me against the wall with his hard, ripped body. I threw my arms and legs around Kenpachi and proceeded to dig my nails into his shoulders. The last thing I remember thinking was-

He was well worth my time.


End file.
